Wednesday, August 17, 2011

to be honest.

two weeks until take off.

you know, i don't know what i was thinking when i figured i would just be super excited and relaxed about leaving. i'm not. i mean, i am excited of course. but i'm also experiencing whole new levels of anxiety. my stomach has been twisted into knots for the past four days, and my hypochondriac tendencies are through the roof. which was very unexpected, as i thought i was past that years ago. 

and i just keep feeling ridiculous because i know God has me on this journey for a reason, and i know He is in control and i know i am in His hands. and i am really looking forward to everything in the next seven months.
so why all these panic attacks, and why all of the fear?
it's not okay. it's exhausting. and i feel like the anxiety is taking away from the excitement i should be feeling.

i keep telling myself 'once you get there, and get settled, everything will be okay.'
and then immediatly i think 'once you're there, you're a very long distance away from mom, dad, katie, jill and coleton. shoot. can i do this? i hope they remember to let franklin in at night.. and what about...'
and the battle goes back and forth.

so if you're reading this, say a prayer with me.
i'm really praying that God just continues to lead me, and that the anxiety subsides. 
i pray that i look past the anxiety to see the big picture, because there is an amazing adventure ahead with my name all over it.

do not be afraid, for I am with you. do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.
isaiah 41:10 


photos from this week.  

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