thoughts.

home for one week. 

how can that be? 

everyone tells you that coming home will be hard, but it never really hits you until you live it.

and it is hard. harder than i expected.

coming home in general, is tough.

but when you come back to a place that was centered around one person for the last five years, and they have made the choice to no longer be a part of your life, it's hard to face. it's hard to swallow. it's hard to cling to hope. to cling to truth. but if i can't do that then i'll drown. so through the grace of God, i'm able to. and He brings endless truth and hope. endless love when i feel alone. endless grace when my thoughts stray. endless strength when i feel weak in every sense of the word. 

but i am not weak. i'm stronger than i've ever been.

phsycically, emotionally, spritually stronger than i've ever been.

 as God has drawn me closer to Him in these last seven months, i have become free, i have become alive in who i am, who i was created to be.

and even in this whirlwind. 

in heartbreak.

i have a joy that can not be stolen.

a light that can not be snuffed out.

dreams that can not be contained or put in a box.

a future that is as beautifully mysterious as ever.

because that is who my God is.

a God of passion, dreams, and joy.

 a God who loves me deeply, and who hurts when i hurt, but doesn't leave me hurting. a God who pours truth over me. 

so yes, home is hard. but home is exactly where He has me right now.

so i'll keep going. i'll keep growing.

i'll do what it takes to find that community my heart longs for, but He has been so faithful to already bring it to my doorstep.

my God doesn't quit.

He doesn't abandon.

He is just as present as my Comforter, Provider, Truth and Life here in michigan, as He was in all of europe.

He is a God of life... 

abundant life.

and so as my time here at home progresses, i desire to walk in that abundance.

to take hold of all there is to take hold of here, and run with it.

all i have to do is keep walking forward, keep following Him.

the adventure continues.

it did not stop at graduation.

it did not stop when i left herrnhut.

He always has more wherever i'm at.

adventuring with God is a lifestyle that my heart aches for.

i want to continue to learn how to love deeper, to be more passionate, to live according to His word, and to continue to spread His light wherever i go.

on my own, i simply can not do it.

but i'm never on my own. 

He is with me with every breath i take.