home.

top five things that i can't quite get used to:

1. a refrigerater full of things i can just take

2. cell phone and texting

3. toilet with a little lever instead of massive wall mount button

4. sleeping alone

5. hearing a tv in the background.

top five things that make my heart want to burst with joy:

1. deep conversation with my sisters.

2. being in a full house of dogs and cats. i missed my pups more than i thought.

3. conversations with my parents that don't involve skype or email. thankyou God.

4. this new bed that defines comfort.

5. driving. okay, i haven't done it yet but today is the day!

this seems unreal.

after twenty six hours of travel, i finally arrived home late tuesday night. 

i wish i could explain how it felt to be around things so familiar to me, but i just have no words. it was much more strange than arriving in herrnhut seven months ago. this was different. this was a place i knew like the back of my hand, and now after this entire experience, i'm living it again.

i must say, my mom is the most wonderful woman in the world. one of the bigest challenges i knew i would face in walking through the door of my house, would be to go to the same bedroom i had had all these years. the same things staring me in the face. reminders of how much things have changed in my life.

but i walked through the door and was looking at something entirely new with maps, and things from paris and herrnhut sprinkled around the room. a new bed that feels like an absolute dream. a new layout.

and although it may be something so small, it's really not at all. a new enviroment will be key in helping me usher in this new chapter.

key in renewing my mind of what home means to me.

i find myself getting a glass of water and glancing out the window thinking i'll see car lights pulling in, and a familiar face. and in an instant i'm reminded how different it is this time around. so i take a deep breath, and pray the prayer i've been prayed a thousand times, that God would continue to be my strength. 

and He is. He always is.

He has been so faithful to me, and i feel it constantly. His constant goodness.

so i know that this will continue as i'm home, as i figure out what these next few months look like.

i trust Him completely, that He has me, He has my entire life in His more than capable hands.

 i don't have to be scared.

i can't wait to see what adventures await for me here!